1. You

Charges: You are loathsome. You are lazy, unthinking, uncritical, and insensitive to the crap happening out there to your own country. Your idea of an intellectual conversation is talking about the sexy, super-powerful engine of Lexus or whatever other car and discussing the latest gizmo that further hastens the decline of your near-zero intellectual ability. Your idea of participating in the democratic process is supporting morons like Arvind Kejriwal and watching staged TV debates. Your icon of free speech is the lady at #8. Your idea of reading a newspaper involves drooling over Page 3 soft porn. Your definition of achievement is winning 5 Crores in Kaun Banega Crorepati. Your idol of a clean politician is Manmohan Singh. You don’t know who A K Ramanujan was or whether he existed at all. You think price rise is because of the US economy. You actually believe that the Congress party that Sonia Gandhi heads gave us freedom from British rule. You support Rahul Gandhi because you find his dimples cute. You think secularism is what is still holding this country together. You think the Congress party is a liberal party. You don’t even know what “liberal” means. You think that only politicians are responsible for all this mess you find yourself in. You think freedom in a democracy means allowing people to celebrate Valentine’s Day. You don’t know you’re bending over but you still bend over. And the Queen fucks you over and over again. You deserve it. You are truly loathsome. You are India’s #1Most Loathsome Person.